WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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