wakey wakey hands off snakey
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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