All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.