so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My liver just had a heart attack.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla