I think i peed on brittanys purse
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
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