I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
