That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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