There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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