Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
