i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
