worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
