You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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