Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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