i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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