Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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