if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize