It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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