Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
