Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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