I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
my being single is dangerous.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
this is an emotional support booty call
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
