But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
