Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize