Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
