dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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