funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
The air taste purple.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize