Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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