your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
