i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
