hotel room ftw
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
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