Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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