Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
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we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
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But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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