Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
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