It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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