idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
