then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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