That's intense
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
ttyl tear gas
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
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