Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
