One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
