why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You can't motorboat a personality
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
True strength comes from lack of pants
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
