she woke up with a sticky ear
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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