did you get engaged???
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
