Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
