His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
