Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
