office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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