video games are the ultimate cock blocker
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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