Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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