she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize