new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize