Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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