so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
