now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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