Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
