i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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