Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
And then he peed in my hair
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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