I love black thongs
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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